The worst kind of fun

The First Meeting

“How close is he? .....BURNING HANDS!” – King, Lord of Leon

The characters have just met. Located in a dark cell block, 2 to a cell, and one lonely female druid across the way. With minimal light to see, a brooding paladin with no name reached across the cell and found a bicep the size of a barrel. “Well sir, that is a very reputable sized bicep.” Before suggesting that breaking the bars of the cell would be a good idea. Sadly to no avail. Next door, King, Lord of Leon, found himself in a cell with a man who called himself “nnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyy…..aaaa….rrrrsseweasel.” And across the way. “I WANT ATTENTION!” from a druid who calls herself Moon Leaf.

As the guards came in, a dwarf and a man, Arseweasel, or Magic Boots, as he is so fondly called by King, calling them as many names under the that could possibly be thought of, while Moon Leaf, trying to seduce the man, unsuccessfully manages to hold his attention. However, as the dwarf of the pair steps close enough to the unlikely duo in the cell. “BURNING HANDS!”

A short but sweet fight ensued.

Long story short, the man was knocked out by a kick to the crotch, the dwarf was knocked out by “BURNING HANDS”. After King, Lord of Leon took everything then guards had on them, incluudin their undergarments, Magic Boots then proceeded to ‘tea bag’ the man, and then defaecate on the dwarf. Meanwhile, Skugness, the man with arms like barrels, after being asked nicely to push the bars off the cell, gave a hard shove and suddenly found himself outside of his cell. Setting free good Moon Leaf, druid of the forest “Much bush but no tree”, and after squabbling about whether to set the dead guards on fire, they then decided to take the keys of the dwarf, lock the bodies in a cell to ‘make it look like they were sleeping and not dead’ (- Moon Leaf) A series of events then included, Skugness wearing studded leather armour three sizes two small, King pretending to be a guard, the party setting free a bunch of prisoners to distract guards while they escaped, and they broke the key off in the lock of the prison.

Now faced with the desert, a couple hours into walking Moon Leaf and the paladin began to feel the effects of heat stroke. They were left with only one option- urinating. Moon Leaf proceeded to urinate into the paladin’s shoe, while Magic Boots urinated into his hand. These were then purified by the druid and made drinkable. While along the way, they run into an unconscious man suffering heat stroke, whom they tend to. The man introduces himself as Bulshevic, and as the party protects him from attack of coyotes (also ski, Bulshevic agrees to lead them to the nearest town, Urface (Err-Facey).

Bulshevic, King and Magic Boots all share an interesting conversation.

At present, the party is residing in the tavern, while Skugness is thoroughly enjoying the female company of the women, Moon Leaf is eating something ‘vegetarian’, Arsewea—err, Magic Boots, is chatting to a very friendly barman, Enrico Vasques, and King is sitting by the fire, playing a newly bought lute. They have no idea where their new companion, the brooding Paladin, has wandered off to.

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Edenari

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